Cast
Seller - Riccardo Lettieri
Rico - Riccardo Lettieri
Valued Customer - Damien Feeney
Chocolate Customer - Riccardo Lettieri
Voiceover - Riccardo Lettieri
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:34pm
The seller can be seen reading a Nuts magazine until he realises that the camera is on. He throws the Nuts magazine aside and begins his amazing sales pitch.
Seller
Hi there! Are you sick and tired of your fat and ugly body? Well you should be, just look at yourself, you're disgusting. But never fear, because Rico's workout is here...
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. A close up of his right arm joint. He is appearing to be doing some weights with his right arm.
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:34pm
Seller
That's right ladies, you could loose up to two dress sizes with this new workout, that's right, two!
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. He is doing press ups but it looks as though he is struggling...
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:34pm
Seller
Do you want to loose that unnecessary second chin? Well now you can!
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. He is doing sit ups this time, but yet again he is struggling to get past two sit ups...
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:35pm
Seller
The workout routine is adapted to you. Exercise when you want and for how long you want. You can even start off small...
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. He is lifting weights with his right arm. The camera zooms fully out to reveal that he is in actual fact just lifting up a pen with his right arm...
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:35pm
Seller
This workout routine is guaranteed to increase the size of your muscles...
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. He is bench pressing what appears to be a heavy weight. Once the camera zooms fully out, it is revealed that he is only bench pressing the extension pipe to a hoover...
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:35pm
Seller
The results are incredible, in just two months you can go from this...
A picture of an incredibly overweight woman lying on a sofa is shown to the audience.
Seller
To this...
A picture of a man with ripping muscles is shown to the audience.
Seller
That's right people, this workout is so good, you will even change sex!
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. He is lifting a pen with his right arm. Suddenly, he transforms into a girl lifting a pen with his right arm. He has long black hair and has developed a pair of breasts.
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:36pm
Seller
This workout truly does work, and if you don't believe me, why not ask one of our valued customers?!
A shot of a muscular man standing in front of a blank wall. He has a knife to his arm which is clearly being held by the seller.
INT. Location Unknown. Time Unknown
Valued Customer (Nervously)
Well, a couple of months ago I was fat, so then I tried Rico's workout, and now I'm sexy. (He begins to cry)
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:36pm
Seller
Do black people ever lie? Of course they don't! Well there you go, what more proof do you need? Take Rico's workout today!
INT. Rico's room. DAY Time Unknown
Rico is working out to workout music that is playing in the background. He is panting and looks tired and out of breath.
INT. Seller's room. DAY 16:36pm
Seller
And here it is for its lowest ever price of just four monthly instalments of £24.99, and that's not all, if you order now, I will throw in this chocolate bar absolutely free!
Cut to a fat customer with his face covered in chocolate.
INT. Location Unknown. Time Unknown
Chocolate customer
I only bought the DVD for the chocolate!
The DVD is placed on the table over a copy of the Nuts magazine. A voiceover says..
Voiceover
Available in all good DVD stores, terms and conditions apply, subject to availability, see in store for details... Results may vary.
END
No comments:
Post a Comment